If Pop Song Titles Were Brief and Honest

We now present the translations of some commonly known pop songs.

“Shut Up”, by A Simple Plan:

I am a teenager and I hate my parents. Fuck you, parents!

“I’m Not Okay (I Promise)”, by My Chemical Romance:

Nobody understands me!!
“Mr. Brightside”, by the Killers:

I’m being cuckolded and I don’t like it.

“Safety Dance”, by Men Without Hats:

Drugs are awesome. Let’s dance!

“Don’t Stop Believing”, by Journey:

Keep on truckin’.

“You Belong With Me”, by Taylor Swift.

Unrequited love sucks.

“Baby One More Time”, by Britney Spears:

Hooray for domestic violence!

“Baby”, by Justin Bieber:

Young love sucks later on.

“Inside Your Heaven”, by Carrie Underwood:

I like you.

“Take A Bow”, by Rihanna

Fuck off (to my ex).

“Airplanes”, B.O.B:

Gee, fame sucks.

“Billionaire”, Travis McCoy

I’m not rich enough! Buy this track!

“Dead and Gone”, by T.I.

I’m having a big, fat identity crisis.

“I Kissed A Girl”, by Katy Perry:

I’m bicurious and using that to leverage attention from the puritanical older generation, who will condemn my song and thus kids will listen to it! Yaaaay!

“Tonight (I’m Lovin’ You)”, by Enrique Iglesias:

…does this need translating?

“Tik Tok”, by Ke$ha:

I like clubbing!

“I Gotta Feeling”, by the Black Eyed Peas:

I also like clubbing!

“Raise Your Glass”, by Pink:

We’re weird. Let’s go drink! And dance!

“Higher”, by Taio Cruz:

I, too, like dancing! Especially at clubs!

“Bad Romance,” by Lady Gaga:

#%&$#^&*$^@^?!?

"But... but you're an egg! A GIANT egg!"